Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I think my moral compass just broke
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