He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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