I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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