sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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