Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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