Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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