I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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