so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
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Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
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she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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