yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize