you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
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Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
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i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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