I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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