i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize