After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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