Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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