There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
How many fucks given?
0.12846
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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