whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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