sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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