Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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