onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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