Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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