So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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