So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
BRING THE BAGELS
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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