new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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