Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize