I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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