Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I've blown a few things in my day
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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