The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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