I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize