i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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