im about as happy as oj after his trial
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize