Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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