You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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