Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
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I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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