But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize