We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
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THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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