Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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