The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize