i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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