If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My penis needs a shock collar
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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