guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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