The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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