i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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