True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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