I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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