I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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