I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
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She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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