Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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