The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize