i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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