some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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